I Met a Soulmate in the Pandemic
“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times”
… very insightful Mr. Dickens.
I’ve never had much luck dating anyone who lived locally, which is an unfortunate side-effect of moving back and forth between cities across the country. I seemed to be falling into the stereotype of a “long-distance lesbian.” No matter where I’d start a relationship — the Prairies or the West Coast — inevitably, I’d be gone months at a time. My last relationship left me rather unhappy, but all things considered I suppose that’s why it ended. Despite crying for a month straight, the breakup was for the best, and I realized I had a lot more to gain by moving on. Two good people aren’t always good for each other.
It was January 2020, and as any ambitious, Leo, extroverted, Gen Z/ Millennial hybrid would be doing, I had five Tinder dates lined up on consecutive days…taking advantage of a newly freed up school schedule (if you’ve made it to fourth term without being cut from my program, it’s a well earned break). The school semester ahead was ripe with opportunities for both my personal and professional growth. I was eagerly anticipating March and what would have undoubtedly been the best month of my life. My play, which I’d been stubbornly developing for three years, had been selected to be professionally produced on my school’s main stage and was finally coming to life!
The upcoming semester was setting up to be a thrilling new chapter.
After meeting four of my prospects, I was feeling pretty meh, but I’d had a great conversation about a shared sense of spirituality and adventure with the last girl I had been messaging. I was excited to meet her. She was an American doing a semester abroad at a campus in Vancouver. I had no expectations for romance, I mean how utterly impractical? Finally, the day of our date arrived. While en-route, and in a moment straight out of a rom-com, our eyes met across the Skytrain car. She had me absolutely struck while also completely at ease. We were rallying conversation and jokes like a couple court pros by the time we reached our destination — Fly Over Canada. I’d never been, and she had come to see Canada, so it seemed like the perfect place to start. And with that, the beginning of our dates (or as we later called them) “adventures” began.
On our third adventure, she kissed me. I had never been kissed as extraordinarily as that: it was luxurious — perfect, even. I drove home completely smitten, pinching myself every so often to put my attention back onto the road.
Never had someone been so considerate, caring, and open with me in my entire life. It felt like my world had come into sharp focus. I no longer found myself making one-sided compromises or endless concessions for how I felt my partner’s behaviour affected me. Both opinionated and open-minded, she challenged me. She supported my artistic endeavours, came to my school functions; we ate late night pizzas and nachos, discussed our lives and future goals, took in British Columbia’s natural beauty, cooked together, slow danced in the street at midnight, ate the city’s best bagels to recharge, or just passed out next to each other, exhausted from a day well spent chasing after another adventure.
We handled our weight in bad times too; in one twist of fate, her purse got swiped on an evening out with friends, and she was left with only a couple of $20 bills and without her state ID and transit pass. I was there to smooth the situation. It seemed like each of us was exactly what the other person needed. A soulmate.
We never made a commitment to each other beyond dating. She was never my Girlfriend™, and yet, she was the kind of girl that I would daydream about even when she was right in front of me. She was simultaneously my happy place and my greatest unknown — a complex riddle and a simple sentence.
All throughout our fairy tale, the looming threat of the Coronavirus pandemic played ominously in the background — classmates furiously sanitizing their hands, city events being postponed, our plans to visit Seattle together later cancelled. Soon enough, Friday, March 13th arrived. Many universities and colleges announced their plans to shift to online platforms. The world as everyone knew it was beginning to end very abruptly, and by Monday the 16th, my show was officially cancelled before opening.
In time that we felt came much too soon, she grudgingly rescheduled her flight back to the United States for Wednesday, March 25th. A whole month left of our little heaven that was promised to us was rudely and quickly ripped away. We cried. We told each other we loved each other. We made no promises for the uncertain future. The Monday before she was supposed to leave, her flight got cancelled. Her only option was to re-book for Tuesday the 24th. Our short time together, cut even shorter, was cut shorter yet again.
“The course of true love never did run smooth” (A Midsummer Night’s Dream — Shakespeare)
Our relationship looks different now. It’s not as openly affectionate as it was when we were in Vancouver. We’re working on our “friendship flow”, opting for that instead of a fraught international long-distance relationship when travel restrictions are (rightfully) extremely tight — not to mention we are also cash-strapped college students. Even though she still makes me melt inside, I believe this is the right choice. I think we both do.
I liken our relationship to a Choose Your Own Adventure novel; being so far apart in the middle of a global pandemic, I don’t know when or if I’ll see her again. Communication is different than it used to be, but even through my own insecurities, she reminds me again and again that she’s set on keeping me around…so I guess we’ll both keep flipping the pages of our book, choosing between whichever options are presented to us.
I think it’s possible that one person might have many soulmates in a lifetime. Someone who enters your life to teach you a Great Lesson. Intrinsically, I know she’s one of mine. There will never be enough words for how profound the experience was. I felt myself grow in understanding and fulfillment in those months we shared together more than I ever have before. I’ll always be thankful to her for showing me how a relationship should feel and to the universe for putting us in the right place at the right time.
The evening of our first date we both got fortune cookies. I didn’t open mine until after she’d gone back to the US and I was on the way to my home province. It read:
“Don’t give up. The best is yet to come.”
